Sunday, March 28, 2010
need your imput
ok..so i love the freedom of homeschooling, but sometimes its hard to draw lines and the only thing that comes to mind is your own experience. A doesn't want me to mark in pen to correct her work. Now she is a perfectionist and very black and white, so in general she hates correction. Part of me thinks, "Girl if you were in school you would have to face the red ink!" And then part of me says, "Maybe its messed up that teachers use red ink. Its so final and so negative. The real point of school is correcting the mistakes, learning and moving on." So I would like to hear what you think. Should I cave and use pencil or make her face the music like everyone else?
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7 comments:
I would say face the music.
It seems to me that it's better to accept and process mistakes/criticism than to try to erase everything away, which is like hiding the fact that we're not perfect or denial or something. Accept the ugly.
Then again I don't have kids.
Agree with Matthew but what if you let her choose the color that you use? (Giving her a little empowering in the situation)
Matthew, the key word here is .... don't have kids YET.
Hey my dear...what about some other creative option? Could Abi have the chance to write it again all pretty like she wants it? I also hated the red pen, esp. in college. A giant buzzer went off in my head w/each big ol' correction...BRRMMMMPPPP. YOU'RE WRONG HERE. I also am a perfectionist about my school work.
You will find the balanced way for that love of a girl.
I say combine Matthew and Grandma Kimball's ideas. I agree with Matthew's idea of accepting mistakes... I think the option of rewriting it is a good way to give her the freedom to express herself in her 'perfect' way, but to still have had to submit to your authority/process. You are the teacher...and there is freedom in submission, even for a perfectionist!
Knowing that she is a perfectionist only helps you know where she needs to learn to receive God's love more fully...not just where you need to be more sensitive to her. Does that make sense? We've been realizing that our Eli is a perfectionist. One example is that he always gives up when running and another kid passes him-just stops. I feel like my responsibility is to help him find the joy in the imperfection of losing and find the motivation to keep trying even when he feels defeated. I'm not going to just let it be until he is fast enough to beat Isaac...I'm going to speak worth and determination into him in the midst of his losing.
Miss you!!
Beth
It's been interesting to read everyone's suggestions and advice on this issue. I was surprised to find myself the only one taking a 'hard' stance on the subject which got me thinking. I think it's a wonderful, under-valued thing to have a thick skin. Often times it seems like having one is viewed as the automatic consequence of being insensitive. I think that having a thick skin however means being secure and not so easily shaken. It means we can't be torn down so quickly because we aren't defined by other people's perception of our work and its value. Knowing who we are in Christ deflects a lot of negative barbs, you know? I guess I'm just in the process of learning this myself being somewhat over-sensitive in a highly critical environment.
"I think that having a thick skin means being secure.... It means we can't be torn down so quickly...."
Not sure that the red correction pen will teach Abi how to have a thick skin. Maybe that's the lesson here.
Receiving correction stings sometimes.
Matt...did you read the facebook replies to this post? My friend Rebecca is also an american living in germany and she wrote about the thick skin as well. She said her boys "had" to develop it bcuz of the environment, but wished they didn't ;-).
It sounds like what B & M are saying is accepting "the pen" gives the opportunity to grow in understanding that "I am lovely even if I make mistakes" more deeply perhaps than erasing. This is good food for thought...the facebook pencil people were convincing, but this is a new angle.
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