One of my concerns about teens today is their disregard for heart purity. I am all for teaching abstinence. But, Christians need to teach and be concerned with far more than this. Teaching abstinence prevents acting out, but Christians are expected to abstain from impurity in their hearts. "For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality..."(Mk 7:21) Jesus taught that we are defiled from within. Young men and young women are to treat each other as siblings. This requires that they have a right heart towards the opposite sex. Eph 5:3 specifies the heart posture of the Christian teen, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity..." The place to start having pure behavior is in the mind, in the heart. Often I see parents concerned with bad choices their teen makes; for example, the child deceives them about a secret relationship or hides impure conversations they had online. But I don't see parents aware and concerned for the state of their child's heart and helping them to keep a clean heart. Yet, that's where the sin begins.
A young girl of 7 is boy crazy and parents laugh and think its funny. A few years later she covers her bedroom in posters of boy idols and parents think its a stage and its "how cute my child is a tween". Later, she craves romantic movies, books and music and fills her mind with dreams and fantasies. Then, she's allowed to date when she is in high school "as long as she doesn't get pregnant". She flirts and spends all her time with boys, but she hasn't gotten pregnant, so they are unconcerned. But inside her, in her heart the road has been paved. She has laid down a highway, and when a man takes interest in her, she holds nothing back. She gives first her heart and then her body.
James teaches that desire gives birth to sin, "You desire but do not have, so you kill." Parents must teach children to be watch what is going on inside their heart and mind, to "Guard her heart for from it flow the springs of life" (Prov. 4:23). Sin starts in the heart and mind as sinful desires and then proceeds OUT to behavior. If parents only teach to remain pure externally, they are not teaching true purity and obedience to God's commands. Inside one's mind can be a wealth of sin that no one knows about until the tree drops the rotten apple. On the other hand, if parents stop focusing on certain behaviors and teach purity, they may find their child applies that to far more aspects of their lives than the few the parents are especially worried about.
I'm not sure who said, "you can't put a condom on your heart;" but if a young woman wants to keep all of herself for the one she will spend your life with, she will keep your heart with all purity. She will watch over the infatuations and the dreams. When she's crushing on someone, she will pray for the wife of her crush to be blessed rather than dwelling on her feelings for him. She will take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). She'll spend time thinking about what is pure and holy and pleasing to God. She'll fill her life with meaningful relationships of people of all ages until she is of marriageable age.
Scripture commands married women to be pure, "encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored" (Titus 2) Staying pure in your mind in your marriage begins with the habit of staying pure as a young woman in regard to thoughts, feelings, and dreams about men.
Some big ways a young girl can stay pure in her thoughts toward young men and protect her heart is to make sure:
1) She is not spending too much time with them before she is ready for marriage.
2) She avoids close one-on-one relationships to boys
3) She is not devoted to texting, tweeting, chatting with (or whatever media is popular) boys.
4) She invests in relationships of all types.
5) She deepens her prayer life and submits her thoughts, feelings, and desires to Christ.
6) She repents for an unclean heart, "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts..." (James 4)
And of course, this applies to young men as well...
A young girl of 7 is boy crazy and parents laugh and think its funny. A few years later she covers her bedroom in posters of boy idols and parents think its a stage and its "how cute my child is a tween". Later, she craves romantic movies, books and music and fills her mind with dreams and fantasies. Then, she's allowed to date when she is in high school "as long as she doesn't get pregnant". She flirts and spends all her time with boys, but she hasn't gotten pregnant, so they are unconcerned. But inside her, in her heart the road has been paved. She has laid down a highway, and when a man takes interest in her, she holds nothing back. She gives first her heart and then her body.
James teaches that desire gives birth to sin, "You desire but do not have, so you kill." Parents must teach children to be watch what is going on inside their heart and mind, to "Guard her heart for from it flow the springs of life" (Prov. 4:23). Sin starts in the heart and mind as sinful desires and then proceeds OUT to behavior. If parents only teach to remain pure externally, they are not teaching true purity and obedience to God's commands. Inside one's mind can be a wealth of sin that no one knows about until the tree drops the rotten apple. On the other hand, if parents stop focusing on certain behaviors and teach purity, they may find their child applies that to far more aspects of their lives than the few the parents are especially worried about.
I'm not sure who said, "you can't put a condom on your heart;" but if a young woman wants to keep all of herself for the one she will spend your life with, she will keep your heart with all purity. She will watch over the infatuations and the dreams. When she's crushing on someone, she will pray for the wife of her crush to be blessed rather than dwelling on her feelings for him. She will take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). She'll spend time thinking about what is pure and holy and pleasing to God. She'll fill her life with meaningful relationships of people of all ages until she is of marriageable age.
Scripture commands married women to be pure, "encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored" (Titus 2) Staying pure in your mind in your marriage begins with the habit of staying pure as a young woman in regard to thoughts, feelings, and dreams about men.
Some big ways a young girl can stay pure in her thoughts toward young men and protect her heart is to make sure:
1) She is not spending too much time with them before she is ready for marriage.
2) She avoids close one-on-one relationships to boys
3) She is not devoted to texting, tweeting, chatting with (or whatever media is popular) boys.
4) She invests in relationships of all types.
5) She deepens her prayer life and submits her thoughts, feelings, and desires to Christ.
6) She repents for an unclean heart, "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts..." (James 4)
And of course, this applies to young men as well...
7 comments:
This is so true for ALL ages. What a battle!
I like it, especially your mini story. It really sums it all up. I love how you say it's "extinct". It's running around with the Dodo's and Wooly Mammoths!
There is only ONE THING drastically wrong with it. What is it, you say? My freakin' hair in that picture look like a homeless girl's!!!!!!!
Awesome!!!
Heather G--There are so many issues for kids that we parents face, too... see my post: http://creationchild.blogspot.com/2016/02/who-are-we-becoming.html
You've really put your finger on the heart of the matter. We do our kids a disservice when we allow them to let their inner life run wild and then expect them to put on their external brakes and not act out. So much easier to have the tools to slow oneself down initially than to have to frantically STOP on a dime. Internal government is so important in a society where the external government supports are being eroded.
Go Nonie!
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