I keep hearing this: "I don't know who I am. "I'm so confused."
What makes a person lose their sense of grounding, to start swirling? I know I've felt like that before--going through suffering--broadsided by pain.
In this case, however, these thoughts are coming from women who have one thing in common--they are straying. Women who don't know each other, but have chosen the same path: escape my pain through the love/attention of another man.
And they lose themselves.
But they think they like it.
And this verse sets me on fire when I hear it: "For although they knew
God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their
thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened."
First the ingratitude, then the futile hopeless mind, then the darkening of the heart.
The seared conscience speaks, "I don't know who I am. I am so confused."
Romans says the conscience is active even in the man who does not follow Christ or have the Holy Spirit: "their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them."
How much more is he active in the life of a believer who knows they are walking in a sin/lifestyle that God commands them not to? Will not their minds accuse them and defend them? And if their minds accuse them, but they like it...will their minds not defend their sin, as well? And so they are Confused. Their minds say, "Yes, this is OK, and No, this is not OK." And then the swirling and tumbling and losing of one's grounding.
I see the forked path here. Either give in to the sin and God will "give you over to a depraved mind," or step out of denial and stand with Christ admitting the sinfulness of the present path--agree with God about your sin and repent. Both paths are painful, but one ends in death. Moving forward in Christ will bring grief, but also refining and ultimately blessing because
He promises us that if we obey his commands--we will be happy.
Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found. Ps 119:35 NLT
6 comments:
Holly this is so good. I've heard these words come out of the mouths of two of the most important men in my life. My dad and my brother. Both lovers of Christ. Both left their wives for other women.
15 years later my dad lives a spiritually dead life with his atheist wife.
My brother and his new wife (of 1year) know that they have been forgiven. They go to a new church. They have a new baby. The pastor feels as though they have repentant hearts. From all appearances they are living a life IN CHRIST.
But what about my brothers wife of over a decade. He trashed her and left her with nothing. Same for the ex-husband.
I'm learning how to love and forgive even when it doesn't make sense to me. Even when I want to hate and punch necks!
This is the struggle of my life. How do you deal with a believer walking into sin with open eyes? How do you get past that?
Generational poo poo stinks! I've had nightmares for my friends, felt anxiousness that clouds my days... and then I know that its choices--their choices that will make the difference. Its Paradise Lost now...
When they come, I give them all the love, truth, and hope that is theirs in Christ--and then I keep on working on trusting Him with the wreckage in their families.
I have seen this as well. A husband I know left his first wife for a younger woman. It was the best thing that ever happened to the first wife. She forgave and drew close to God. It was really, really hard but her trusting God continues to be an inspiration to me. God has been always faithful, even when the spouse was not.
This is awesome Holly. Really and truly. I think one of the factors of straying is hope, hope misplaced. Rather than hope in a God who is not there to touch, hope in a human who is. Rather than hope in the promises, hope long lasting for promises to occur, and accepting answers that don't appear to be what we want, we stray to a shiny piece of tinfoil that is easy to pick up and hold. I wish more pastors were speaking on this. It's a hard and helpful truth. Say no to self. Say yes to God.
right on Faith--Its funny that I have seen Z pick up a little shiny something from the dirty street and be so excited about it (her poor formerly deprived self) but its the same as you say...
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