The first time I faced this question, I was in junior high. I had come to believe in God and his son Jesus Christ. Somehow I started to feel uncomfortable with the choices and direction my friends were going. My best friend started hanging around girls who were more and more interested in boys and being popular--looking the part, being in the right places, going out like the cool kids, joining their clubs... At the same time, I had a few experiences with boys that left me feeling gross. Really awkward moments where I felt surprised and used.
And I made a choice.
I said, "No more. I don't like what they are about, where their going, and what it feels like to be with them. I know what's GOOD and REAL." And that was the end of that.
I chose to hang out more with my youth group from church. My friends changed. I struggled to find friends, but thankfully I had a large family that filled in the gaps. I didn't know then what I know now...
You are who you hang out with.
I've seen married women fall into affairs so quickly, like this, 1) go out friday to a night club 2) repeat 3) have an affair, crush your spouse, split your family. Its so simple and it happens over and over. The club is not evil, but the people who begin to influence you there can take you where you never imagined you would go. We underestimate their power, but Scripture doesn't.
We adults need to take seriously Pr. 13:20 "Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble." ...Because our children will bear the consequences of our choices, and they are innocent. We may get that and choose good friends for ourselves, but allow our children to hang with FOOLS. And spend hours with them. This is why Chad and I's priority of relationships for our teens will look different that the average Chicago teenager. Their social life will look like this:
1) Family & siblings
2) Other adults especially grandparents...
3) Peers
And I made a choice.
I said, "No more. I don't like what they are about, where their going, and what it feels like to be with them. I know what's GOOD and REAL." And that was the end of that.
I chose to hang out more with my youth group from church. My friends changed. I struggled to find friends, but thankfully I had a large family that filled in the gaps. I didn't know then what I know now...
You are who you hang out with.
I've seen married women fall into affairs so quickly, like this, 1) go out friday to a night club 2) repeat 3) have an affair, crush your spouse, split your family. Its so simple and it happens over and over. The club is not evil, but the people who begin to influence you there can take you where you never imagined you would go. We underestimate their power, but Scripture doesn't.
We adults need to take seriously Pr. 13:20 "Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble." ...Because our children will bear the consequences of our choices, and they are innocent. We may get that and choose good friends for ourselves, but allow our children to hang with FOOLS. And spend hours with them. This is why Chad and I's priority of relationships for our teens will look different that the average Chicago teenager. Their social life will look like this:
1) Family & siblings
2) Other adults especially grandparents...
3) Peers
Bethan has been really enriched by these two women, my friend Han who teaches her Chinese and her grandmother, Mimi. They have laughed together, told great stories, and really encouraged her.
I still ask myself the question, "Who am I becoming?" And the older I get, I realized that the forked road never goes away, we still have to choose whether we're 12 or 42.
