War Zone

I feel like I'm running through a mine field and the moms running with their families are stepping on mines-on purpose-blowing up their families who run near them.  To the left and to the right and they are running wild, running blind-grasping at straws not seeing the mutilation their fear and panic has brought to their families.  They don't see the blood running down, the blasted hearts of their husbands or the streaks of tears in dirt on their childrens' faces.  They don't see them at all.  And I am overwhelmed because I feel it and I see it.  I understand because I have been blind before-- wounding and stabbing again. 

Yet, I know God is in this place and his love is fierce.  He loves them and he knew this and He is bigger than this and He will triumph in His love.  And I know deep inside the mommies love Him, too; but its scary to keep trusting and pain can make you crazy.

There are some who choose to live on the edge of panic, who take day by day and trust.  A relative holding strong as a single mom--she is digging deeper now.  I felt it in Africa--that unknown scary fear that you don't know how to do anything and you are vulnerable needy and weak.  And when I was nauseous, and I had to stand up and live and give--I begged God for his provision for his healing and I pleaded.  And I begged and I stood fiery on his promises to me.  And He held me and kept me and got me through and the sickness faded and I was made strong and

He was enough. 

You don't know if you run-
If you will be
held.