Ann V says "Just for today: trust God’s will and all’s well and all’s grace." But I'm tired of having my heart stretched across an ocean. I'm tired of holding back and fending off fears of going, fears of staying. And it doesn't feel that all is well but that all is jacked up and I want my family together. I'm trying to want Jesus only, and then know the joy. Trying to be cheerful, trying to see what I can change and what I can do and do that--but I am drained.
Today, i am going to do a special time with Rosebud. I'll try to pour some oil on her wounded soul. Try to guide her to paths of joy and freedom. Thankfully, the children all agreed that she should be next. And she felt the love of her brother, another thanks. Which means they won't yell at me or complain or beg, thank you Lord. But how to fill her up when I'm drained out? There is only one filler. So a nap, a coffee and I am waiting for You.
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