I felt awkward sitting there in the Lawndale clinic. I know that my girl would like to be surrounded by black, by sameness. Here I am feeling the differentness and self conscious. Do they think her scalp looks dry and hair fuzzy? What about the white baby doll I bought with bank points--parenting fail? Do her clothes look odd to them? Her embroidered pink shirt and floral tennis look adorable to me. Her hair braided in front, poofed in back is beautiful to me, as well. All around is slick and shaped and smoothed. Tbone sits oblivious next to her. He is comfortable with this place, with her. They are two peas in a pod with toddler backpacks and bananas in hand. They sit on the same chair, white and black, comfort in togetherness.
My girl notices the men. They don't take too much notice of her. Not like the Ethiopian men, who coo, hold and carry one her size..showering with kisses and "how are you's?" She looks to see if she might recognize. She looks to see if they respond. I call Chad, her face lights up. "Tell Daddy, 'Hello!'" She relaxes, "Hi Daddy!" "Yesh" "Yesh" She goes on.
I kiss the tears from her shots away... Do they think it strange? Me kissing this face? This beautiful face? Somehow, healing streams out... I know it.
4 comments:
The hair thing is more of a big deal with blacks than I ever dreamed. Talked to my sistah in church and she said, "Oh, yeah, we spend the big $$$ on our hair." However, she just ditched the straightening thing and wears it natural because she was so tired of the pain factor connected with smooth hair. She did mention that you have to be real careful with it natural because it knots up and then breaks. Yikes! However, she did recommend the product "Jam" if you want to smooth it down by the scalp when you put A's hair in little poufs.
thx mom...i was thinking of getting her beaded for her birthday...little pink and whites...i guess they sort of thread them in...
I love her so much--I just want to meet her so bad!
Love to hear the tenderness of your mother's heart Hols. God will show the way, always.
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